


She Is With Me

by gaybork (reddragon29)



Series: What Is Right For Us, And Us Alone [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hospitalization, Sad Lexa, i put the mature rating for a short scene towards the end that you can totally skip past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 13:07:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19442074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddragon29/pseuds/gaybork
Summary: Three years ago, Lexa showed up on Anya's doorstep, distraught about Clarke. A year later, they started dating. In the next two years that they are together, Anya knows her girlfriend will never be over Clarke, but she's determined to hold on for as long as she can.When Anya gets a text from Raven informing her that Clarke is in the hospital, badly injured from a car accident, she takes on one of the hardest emotional trials of her life: finally meeting the woman Lexa can't let go.





	She Is With Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is the companion piece to "Seven Year Itch" that takes place three years later and is from Anya's POV. If you don't like seeing these characters sad, in the hospital, or Lexa being in a relationship with someone other than Clarke, this fic is not for you.
> 
> If it is for you, enjoy!!

**_Epilogue_ **

Anya slid into bed behind Lexa as carefully as she could, trying not to wake her just yet. She traced Lexa’s newest tattoo with the tips of her fingers, two complimentary pieces on the outside of her upper arm, watching the goosebumps form on her tanned skin. As Lexa stirred from her sleep, Anya smiled at the way her eyes scrunched up before they opened to the glaring sunlight of the late morning streaming through the window. 

“‘Morning, squid,” Anya said softly “Did you sleep well?”

Lexa groaned and her eyes screwed shut again for a moment. Then she rolled onto her back and looked up at Anya. “If you can call waking up every hour thinking zombies were after me sleeping well, then yes, I slept great, thank you for asking.”

“I told you it was going to be scary,” Anya teased. “You insisted on watching.”

“I know,” Lexa smiled, and rose up to kiss her. “Waffles for breakfast?”

“Are you making them?”

“Only if you promise to never let me watch a horror movie again.”

Anya smiled back. “I think I can manage that.”

Once the remains of their breakfast was cleared away, Lexa and Anya curled up on the couch for a Game of Thrones binge session. They had just finished their first episode when Anya’s phone rattled on the glass surface of the coffee table, alerting her to a text message. She detangled herself from Lexa and the blankets and leaned forward to check it. 

She read the message silently, her brow furrowing more and more and the corners of her mouth pulling into a deep frown. “Oh shit.”

“What’s up?” Lexa tried to see over her shoulder, but Anya turned the phone away to hide the screen. 

“Clarke is in the hospital. Car accident. She’s pretty messed up,” Anya said carefully.

She didn’t know how Lexa would take the news; she wasn’t expecting Lexa to take it well. They hadn’t done much more than mention Clarke since Lexa had shown up on her doorstep three years ago, asking if she could stay for a while. Anya had tried to understand what happened between them, but the only thing she really understood was that Lexa would always love Clarke, despite how completely and utterly shattered she was for the first couple of weeks she was at Anya’s. Despite her and Lexa’s relationship going on two years strong now out of the three they had been living together now. Anya didn’t feel like she was second best, she just knew that Clarke would always hold a special place in Lexa’s heart, no matter how many times she denied it.

“Shit,” said Lexa. She was quiet for a minute. “Do they think she’s going to pull through?”

“Yeah the doctors are pretty confident she’ll be fine, according to Raven.”

Lexa drew her knees close to her chest and tugged the blanket tighter around her body. She cast her gaze to the floor, lost in thought. 

“Do you...do you want to visit her?” It was a delicate question.

“No...I think so?” She paused. “I don’t know.” Lexa clearly didn’t want to discuss it further. 

Anya wanted nothing more than to hold Lexa tight and comfort her. But she also wanted to give her space if she needed it and chose to keep her fingers occupied with sending a reply to Raven. Would she want Anya to even get near her after this news? Or would she close herself off to the world again, like she did after their falling out? Anya put down the phone and, luckily, Lexa came of her own volition and nestled deep into Anya’s warmth as she cried. 

They spent most of the rest of the day like that, Lexa silently tucked into Anya while she whispered tales of her childhood summers in Nepal in the younger woman’s ear. Eventually, she saw that Lexa had fallen asleep, and Anya heaved a sigh of relief.

Her phone buzzed faintly on the arm of the couch. Another message from Raven. She read it quickly, then hit the call button. She only had to wait two rings before Raven picked up. 

“Did you see my text?”

“Yeah, I just read it,” said Anya. “Lexa’s right here, napping. We kind of talked about going to see Clarke.”

“What did she say?”

“She doesn’t know. I told her to at least think about it for a couple days.”

“Fuck, Anya, Clarke could be dead in the morning.”

“I know.” Anya leaned back and ran a hand over her hair, pushing it back off of her forehead and biting back tears of frustration. “I didn’t know how to tell her.”

“You just read the goddamn text out loud to her, An, it’s not that hard. The rest of us have to sit here, waiting, with no buffer. Consider yourselves lucky you’re too far to drive over tonight, otherwise I think Bellamy would go get you himself. He misses Lexa, you know. She hasn’t been calling him as often and it shows.”

“That’s not my problem.”

“You’re as stubborn as Murphy.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“First thing in the morning, you hear? You and Lexa are driving out here before it’s too late. We can make up the spare bedroom and you can stay as long as you need.”

Anya looked down at the tight ball in her arms. “I can’t force her to go, Rae. What happened between them...she’s still really torn up about it. Even now.”

“All the more reason to come. Do you think she would be better off knowing she could have said goodbye to the only person she’s ever loved? No offense, of course.”

“None taken,” she said, sincere in the sentiment. “When we go to bed I’ll tell her.”

Raven was uncharacteristically quiet for a while. Anya could hear the bustle of the hospital in the background. “Okay. And Anya?”

“Yeah?”

“Make sure Lexa gets some sleep tonight. Don’t let her behind the wheel until the morning.”

“I won’t, I promise. Hope everyone else is doing well. Tell them all we said hi.”

“Tell them yourself, asshole.” Someone called Raven’s name on the other end of the line. “Ah, listen, I gotta go. We’ll see you tomorrow, right? Late morning or early afternoon?”

“Late morning,” Anya confirmed.

“Alright, take care.” The line went dead. 

“You, too,” she said into the receiver. She put down the phone and started to stroke Lexa’s hair. She should probably get them to bed, where it was more comfortable, but Anya was content to let Lexa sleep more if it meant she could put off giving her the bad news. If it meant she could protect Lexa from a truth that would break her heart all over again for just a little bit longer.

Okay. You can do it. 

“Lexa, baby, we have to get up,” she said softly. “Time to get ready for bed.”

“Wha’ time issit?” Lexa mumbled. 

“Seven o’clock, but we have to get an early start tomorrow. We’re going to see Clarke.”

The last sentence snapped Lexa out of her post-nap haze. Her body unfurled and she shifted away from Anya on the couch, her face showing pain and disgust that Anya would betray her like that. She had no right to make that decision for her, especially when it came to Clarke. 

Anya trapped her twitching hands under her thighs. “She doesn’t have days, Lexa, she might not even have hours. Don’t be stupid and make a decision you’re going to regret for the rest of your life. There’s no bringing her back if she leaves this time, no phone call you could make to apologize for missing her.”

“What if she doesn’t want to see me?”

“What if you never see her again?” Anya countered.

That got Lexa’s mind churning and she clamped her mouth shut, her next protest promptly swallowed. She silently rose from the couch and reached out her hands for Anya’s. She lead Anya to the bathroom, where they went through the motions of their night routine, then to the bedroom, where she stripped off her jeans and shimmied out of her bra without taking off her shirt. Anya did the same and followed her under the covers. She wrapped her arms around Lexa from behind, breathing in her scent at the crook of her neck.

“I love you,” she murmured. Lexa didn’t say it back. She wasn’t expecting her to, she just needed her to know. Eventually, the rise and fall of Lexa’s back evened out and Anya felt her love’s heartbeat come to a more steady pace. Her own heart fluttered with hope that Lexa was at peace in her dreams, a sweet escape from life’s troubles. 

Strong. That’s how Anya would describe Lexa on any given day of the week. Strong and resilient. The only thing that could wreck her was Clarke, and she had cut her out of her life as much as possible. In those rare moments Clarke came up in conversation, a darkness came over her and suddenly she was fighting against herself, against instinct to fight for the one she loved. It was Lexa’s strength that was going to get her through this. But first, Anya had to help her get it back.

She set her alarm for an hour before she got Lexa up so that she could get everything packed and ready to go. Then she rolled Lexa from bed, into her clothes, and into the pre-warmed car, where she had a steaming thermos of coffee waiting and a travel pillow strapped to the headrest. She packed light, but enough for a week. Hopefully they wouldn’t be there that long. Raven and Bellamy were generous to offer the spare bedroom (because, let’s be honest, Murphy would have never), but five people in a two bedroom apartment was going to get old fast.

The drive was easy; there was minimal traffic getting into the city and Anya was too hyped up on coffee to care when her road trip playlist ended two hours earlier than their arrival. Lexa was fully awake by then, fidgeting in her seat. She asked how much longer their drive was going to be, and then remain silent for the rest of the way. 

Raven met them at the door to her apartment complex, swiping her key card in the elevator to take them up to the fifth floor.

“Bellamy just left for the hospital, and Murphy is in the shower. He has to go to work and he’s taking the other car, so I’ll have to ride over with you. The spare room is already made up. Just let me know when you want to go,” she said. She led them down the hall and let them into the apartment. Then, she waited in the living room while Anya and Lexa got settled. 

Lexa tossed her bag on the bed. She flopped down after it, tempted to burrow under the blankets and never come out. But Anya sat next to her and stroked her back soothingly. 

“Squid, I know this is hard. If you won’t do it for Clarke, would you at least do it for me? Even though we’ve never met before, she sounds like an amazing woman and I would hate to miss out on a chance to see the person you and your friends love so much. Can you put aside whatever hard feelings you have, just for an hour or so? For me?”

Lexa nodded.

“Thank you.” Anya stood back up. “Now come on, Raven’s waiting for us.”

It didn’t hurt too much when Lexa brushed past her without another thought. She knew Lexa was mad at her. But in the long run, Anya knew she made the right choice bringing Lexa here, and the fact that Lexa was doing as she asked, albeit reluctantly, meant Lexa knew it too. Under different circumstances, she would think Lexa was excited to go see Clarke. She supposed, in a way, it was true, but right now her actions were probably set closer to the beat of worry.

They arrived at the hospital in time for the nurses to shoo everyone out for a lunch break. The blinds had been drawn closed, and the others went to sprawl across the couches and chairs in the waiting room just down the hall, restless.

Bellamy was the first to throw his arms around Lexa in a big bear hug. He had been angry when Lexa first ran away, but over the years they had repaired their friendship. She was not so lucky with some of the others, like Raven. “I missed you, best friend. Why don’t you call anymore?”

“Sorry, Bell, work has me travelling like crazy,” Lexa squeeze him back. “It’s good to see you.”

He hugged Anya, too. “Thank you for bringing her,” he whispered in her ear before releasing her. 

Anya stepped back and surveyed the group in front of her. There was Lincoln, her cousin, with his girlfriend Octavia. Raven, who leaned heavily on Bellamy for support and hid her face in his chest as he pulled her close in a side hug. Four people she had never met before stood behind them, and Lexa went over to hug them too. A familiar looking woman wearing scrubs was talking to Raven, but Anya couldn't quite place her. 

“Clarke’s mom,” Lincoln muttered.

She looked over to them as they approached, interrupting herself to greet Lincoln. “And you must be...?”

“Anya. Lincoln’s cousin and Lexa’s girlfriend,” Anya supplied.

“Abby.” She offered her hand and Anya shook it. “Thanks for driving up this morning, Clarke would really appreciate it if she knew.”

Anya wasn’t so sure about that, but she bit back the urge to comment on it. Luckily, Raven jumped in before she could say anything else. “Have you met everyone else yet? This is Luna, Monty, Miller, and Jasper. Jasper you can pretty much ignore because he’s annoying, but the others are cool.”

They all waved to her as Raven introduced them except for Jasper, who sputtered in protest. She nodded to them silently.

“We’ve all been here as much as we can ever since Abby called us with the news on Thursday night, before she could fly in,” Raven continued to explain. “Not much to do but wait while Clarke recovers from surgery and her other injuries, though.”

“Well, I’m rooting for her,” said Anya with a small smile towards Abby. It wasn’t a lie. Part of her did hope Clarke got better soon so she and Lexa could talk and then Lexa and Anya could go home. She pulled Lincoln into a hug. “It’s good to see you, it’s been too long. Do you know exactly what happened?”

Lincoln held on for another moment before letting go. “We think she was coming home from work on Thursday night. Finn...” He lowered his voice and glanced at Octavia. “He walked out on Clarke last month, nobody has seen him since. When they couldn’t get ahold of him they called Abby and she's been here since Friday morning.”

Anya nodded in acknowledgement. “We’re staying at Raven, Murphy, and Bellamy’s for the weekend, then we might head back, depending on Lexa’s...” She didn’t know how to say it, maybe she didn’t want to say it, but it had to be said. Things had changed the moment Raven texted her, the moment Clarke became the main focus of Lexa’s life again. “Depending on if Lexa wants to stay when Clarke shows signs of getting better and to try to work things out with her.”

“We’re all hoping that happens sooner rather than later. If things get cramped over there, you let me know, okay? Octavia can stay with Luna and you two are welcome to the pull out couch,” he said.

She hugged him again. “Thank you.”

The nurse came out of the room. “She’s sleeping again, but some of you are welcome to go in there. Please no more than three at a time and keep your voices low.”

Bellamy nudged Lexa towards the door. “She’s asleep, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“She could wake up,” Lexa muttered.

“Here’s to hoping.” He nudged her forward again, harder this time. “You too, Anya.”

Seeing Clarke hooked up to the machines was so much different than just knowing she was. Monitors beeped around her and a respiratory machine wheezed as it kept her breathing steady. But her face...her face was still bruised blue and purple among the many small cuts from what Anya assumed was a shattered windshield, only a few patches were on their way to healing. She still looked like the pictures Lexa showed Anya, but her features were slightly off and her golden hair flat and messy against the pillows. 

Lexa knelt on the floor next to the bed and shakily reached for Clarke’s hand. She hesitated, like Clarke would turn to dust the moment they touched. Her hand came to rest on the bed next to Clarke’s, not quite touching, but close enough.

“Eight years years I’ve loved you...eight years I’ve spent trying to ignore my feelings for you so you can live your best and happiest life. When we had our fight...I thought it was too late for us. And now you’ve gone and gotten hurt so badly—” Lexa teared up and her fingers curled up into a fist. “It’s not fair. It should have been me in that accident.”

Anya’s brow furrowed at that. 

“Maybe we weren’t meant to be, but you sure as hell weren’t supposed to die first. So you have to pull though, okay? You have your whole life ahead of you. A whole life to be creative, to love and be loved by those around you. This isn’t going to stop you. This isn’t the end, damn it.”

She finally took Clarke’s hand and squeezed it, finally letting her tears fall freely. Her whole body trembled and it took everything in Anya not to kneel down herself to comfort Lexa. Instead, she just put a gentle hand on Lexa’s shoulder and let her cry. If they were at home, Anya would hug her in an instant and prepare her favorite tea, but there wasn’t any degree of separation between them and Clarke now, she couldn’t just ask Lexa to put her out of her mind. She wasn’t sure what the protocol was now.

Bellamy knocked on the door after a while, coming in quietly and shutting it behind him. Anya took her hand away and watched as he was the one to kneel next to Lexa and pull her into his arms. She fell into them greedily, gripping his shirt and finally giving in to sobs that wracked her whole body.

For the first time in their relationship, Anya felt like she was sitting in the backseat and Clarke was driving. It was inevitable, and Anya thought she was prepared for it when she made the decision to come here, but actually experiencing the jolt that ripped through her practically knocked her off her feet.

“I’ll be outside,” she muttered. Bellamy looked up at her with apologetic eyes and nodded.

Raven and Lincoln exchanged looks when they saw her flee the room. They knew about her insecurities from the start, since she first admitted her romantic interest in Lexa to them. Over the years she had seemed to cope with it, but now being so close to Clarke and actually seeing her for the first time...Anya didn’t seem to be taking it well.

“I got her,” said Lincoln.

He found her around the corner from the hospital entrance smoking a cigarette, hand shaking as she took a drag. She clutched the freshly opened pack and brand new fluorescent green lighter in her other hand. Even with her black leather jacket and ripped skinny jeans, the items seemed uncharacteristic of her; he knew she hadn’t touched a cigarette since her army days when she figured she could just as easily die on the battlefield as she could from lung cancer, whichever got her first. On their flight home, Anya decided to quit, stating if the war wasn't going to get her, then neither was cancer. Nevermind the fact that cancer could develop regardless. Lincoln waited silently while she finished the first cigarette and lit a second.

“Are you okay?” he asked finally.

“She’s really beautiful, you know,” said Anya. “Lexa showed me pictures before this but in person, even all banged up...I can see why she can’t let her go.”

Lincoln didn’t know what to say to that.

“I haven’t stayed with her this long because I think she’ll eventually get over Clarke. All I’ve ever wanted is to be there for her when she needs me, and for her to want me to be there if she does. We live so far away from all of you, so I can pretend that what she feels isn't as serious as it is, I can forget that she and Clarke have something we will never have.”

“She didn’t tell you she wanted to break up, did she?”

“No,” she shook her head. “Not yet, anyway.”

“She won’t,” said Lincoln firmly. “If Lexa knows what’s good for her, she won’t break up with you.”

Anya placed her cigarette between her lips and took a deep breathe in. “She isn’t always rational when it comes to Clarke,” she said on the exhale, smoke trailing from her nose.

“And it’s not your job to talk sense into her.”

“I know.”

“Are you happy? With her?”

“Fuck, Linc, I love her so much. Whenever we’re just hanging out at home, or we’re out on a date, or she just sees something that makes her smile and it all just makes my heart feel so full. We could be sitting on the couch watching a movie and I’ll look at her and think about how when she snores in the middle of the night it’s the most adorable thing ever. Like I’d never get tired of or annoyed by it. Like I really could spend the rest of my life with her, and even the next three or four lifetimes, and I’d still want to listen to those little snores.

“Or when she’s ranting about someone who cut her off in the grocery store parking lot and she gets all pouty and tries to look tough, but I know deep down she’s a big softie who would have let them go ahead of her if they had given her the chance. When she talks about her work like it’s the most amazing thing in the world, because it really is, and I can’t help but tell her I’m proud of her, and her face turns bright red because she doesn’t realize how talented she is.

“I’m so happy knowing I’m the one she comes home to every night, that I’m the one she can rely on for advice and comfort most of the time. I’m happy just existing in her life, and absolutely over the fucking moon we’ve lasted this long.”

Anya looked over at Lincoln, who was leaning with his arms crossed over his chest against the building a little ways away from her to avoid the smoke. Out of her two army friends, he was the one you came to with emotional shit. Raven was the one who bitch slapped you when you needed it. They stuck with her through a tour, and they were sticking with her now. Anya really appreciated that. 

“I bought a ring, Lincoln.”

His eyebrows shot up. “When?”

“Lexa was in Jersey to close a deal, so...two and a half months ago?”

“Anya...”

“I know, I know. It was a stupid move.” Anya tossed her finished cigarette on the ground next to the other and stamped out the last of the embers.

“Not entirely. But it sure is shit timing.”

“I’m not even sure if she wants to take that step. I know she loves me. But I can’t help but wonder if she really is holding out for Clarke, especially now.”

“You need to talk to her about it. The sooner the better.”

“Eventually.” She stuffed the cigarettes and lighter in the inside pocket of her jacket, then shrugged. “Ready to head back up?”

+++++

They went to the cafeteria and Lincoln bought them lunch. He told her that Raven would call if they were needed, but she should at least try to consume something other than coffee after the long drive over. Then he told her about Octavia’s latest school project, her final thesis before graduation. She appreciated that he was trying to distract her, but it wasn’t working.

When his phone rang Anya made herself wait until he finished the call to start clearing her tray. But he held up a finger to stop her.

“Everyone is coming down for lunch. You don’t have to talk to Lexa right here, right now, but you’re at least going to sit together.”

“Okay.” Anya sat back down.

Lexa reached out for her after she set her tray of food on the table, pulling Anya up from her chair into a tight hug. “You smell like smoke,” she muttered against leather.

“Sorry, old habit.” 

They broke apart and sat, the others falling into place around them. Lexa poked and prodded at her food, occasionally taking a bite, much to Anya’s relief.

“So, how do you two know each other?” asked Jasper, referring to Anya and Lexa.

“We went to elementary and middle school together, and Lexa lived next door to me until she moved to Arkadia. We kept in touch through high school then I went into the army and she went to college. I could have moved to Arkadia when I got back to be closer to Raven, Lincoln, and Lexa, but I was lucky enough to have a job already lined up, much less one in my hometown, so I hoped we could keep doing the long distance friend thing.” She looked at Lexa fondly. “I think it worked out.”

“You could say that,” Lexa smiled slightly.

She loves you, Anya tells herself. Even if she doesn’t always show it. “I’m just glad we were able to start spending time in person again.”

Luna demanded stories about Lexa from when they were little, and soon the conversation ran away from them as Anya and Lexa recounted more and more details from their various adventures. An hour passed without any of them noticing, Lexa slowly coming back to herself. It was clear in the way she laughed, the way she smiled, that Clarke was still there in the back of her mind, but she was finally starting to feel more like herself again.

The group dispersed when Jasper said he had to go to work and Monty said he would go with him so he could get coffee before shutting himself in for the afternoon to work on a paper. Monty seemed to be one of those people that was forever going to be in school, constantly wanting to learn new things and do research with professors. He would make a good professor one day, Anya thought, if he put as much care into teaching others as he did in teaching himself. Jasper worked at a bakery just outside of campus, so he and Monty saw a lot of each other in Monty’s down time, and it made sense for them to leave together. After that, Luna announced she had to go home to let her dog out, and Miller said he would stay a little while longer. Bellamy and Raven were also ready to leave, having done their duty to bring Lexa to Clarke. Octavia nudged Lincoln and he looked to Lexa.

“Do you mind if we stay, too?” Lexa asked Anya.

“Yeah, of course,” she answered. “Let me just get a coffee and I’ll meet you up there. Lincoln? Are you and Octavia heading out?”

He nodded. “I think we need some shut eye. O hasn’t slept more than five hours since we got the call.”

“Okay. I’ll call you if we need anything.”

Those who were leaving, left, and the remaining three went to sit in Clarke’s room with her mom. Lexa took up her post by the bed again, with Anya sitting right beside her. The only sound in the room was the steady noise of the breathing machine and the chirps of the monitors. Miller fidgeted in his seat after a bit, then spoke briefly with Abby, before taking his leave for the day. He shook Anya’s hand and said it was nice to meet her, though he wishes it were under better circumstances. She nodded in agreement and squeezed his hand back.

Anya did her best not to yawn as often as she felt like yawning. The coffee was barely keeping her awake, its watery flavor indicating that it wasn’t all that strong. She did have the option of going back to the apartment to get some sleep, but she didn’t want to leave Lexa alone just in case.

As if reading her mind, Lexa said to her, “Do you want to go back to Bell’s place? I know you were up earlier than me and then you made the long drive here, you must be exhausted.”

She blushed, embarrassed she wasn’t hiding it as well as she thought. “I can stay. I’m okay.”

But Lexa shook her head and started to get up.

“Really, Lexa, I’m fine. I want to be where you want to be.”

Lexa grabbed her hand. “Abby will be here. Clarke...she’ll be alright. I said what I needed to say to her while you were out earlier just in case she, you know...Let’s just go.”

Anya couldn’t mistake the flash of sadness in her eyes as she said those words. “Okay.”

They said their goodbyes to Abby and exchanged numbers on the off chance Anya and Lexa were away from one of the others if they got any news. Lexa was quiet on their way out, but she seemed lighter on her feet than before. When they got in the car she climbed over the center console into Anya’s lap and kissed her fiercely, subtly grinding her hips down. The kiss quickly got heated, their grinding becoming less and less subtle. Anya’s brain tried to collect itself as Lexa’s hands wandered further up her shirt.

“What are you doing?” she managed to ask between kisses. 

“Fuck me,” Lexa said in a ragged breath.

Anya put a hand on her chest to stop her from coming back in for a kiss. “Why?”

“Jesus, An, can’t you just stick your hand down my pants and get me off?” Lexa leaned back against the wheel and removed her hands from Anya’s shirt. She ran her fingers through her hair, pushing it back away from her face. She wouldn’t meet Anya’s eyes. “I need you. Please?”

“Lex, I don’t think it’s a good idea...”

“Please?” Lexa repeated. She finally met Anya’s eyes, pleading with her to just give in.

“I...” Anya knew she had to say no. Lexa was not in her right mind and no amount of pleasure or satisfaction was going to make her feel better. She looked away, out the window. “Lexa, I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Lexa crawled back into the passenger seat and buttoned her jeans, which Anya hadn’t noticed she’d unbuttoned before. She went quiet again, only humming in assent when Anya said she was going to take them back to the apartment. She hid her face with her hair, leaning her elbow against the car door and watching the world pass by her window. 

At the apartment, Lexa shut herself in the bedroom, so Anya laid out on the couch for her nap, already dreading the backache that would come later. She tossed and turned for a bit, then she felt a tap on her shoulder. She opened her eyes and Lexa was standing over her, one hand rubbing her other arm apologetically.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” she said.

“Me too,” said Anya.

“Will you come nap in the bed with me? The couch won’t be good for your back.”

And thus Anya was able to settle into her rightful place as she napped, curled around Lexa with their limbs tangled together. Raven had offered her own bed to Anya, but Anya turned her down with the hope that Lexa would let her in. And now that she had, Anya wondered if maybe it was a sign that things were moving in a better direction, maybe she should ask Lexa to marry her after all. 

Perhaps Clarke would be a part of that future if Lexa chose to stay in contact with her, Anya didn’t know. But she was at peace knowing that it was a thing that might happen and she was ready (though definitely not prepared) to face whatever it may bring. Whatever the outcome, it was for another day. Right now she had Lexa and Lexa had her, and they were going to watch over Clarke together until she was well again. Then they would drive back home to their cozy apartment and continue their life as they had been, taking things one day at a time.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! This is the second and final part to this series, I hope you enjoyed it. Scream at me in the comments


End file.
